whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
