happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
