Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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