You really coming over, don't trick.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
