careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
