I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
