It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Floor bacon is actually really good
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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