Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
