in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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