i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
