She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
