During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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