guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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