Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
