In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
