Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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