We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
