please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
