That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
