Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
