as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
