shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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