i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
