More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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