Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
