I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
