is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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