i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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