oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
