why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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