Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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