We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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