were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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