You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
