Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
