I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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