Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
