he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
