He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
