For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
