Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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