You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize