is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
How naked do you want me to be?
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