what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
