literally had 100 drinks last night.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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