Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
