I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
