Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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