3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
