You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
