you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
