yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
