The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
