No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
