I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
