Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
