fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize