does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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