Yo dont text me then not text me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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