You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize