4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
