Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
