dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
