Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
