I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
