We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
this boner is exhausting
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
