So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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