Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I AM VODKA MAN
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
