fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
