And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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