I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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